Prospecting is not about being someone's b*tch.

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 Words: Hook


📷Marco


For some reason, when you prospect into a club, you may understand the notion that not everyone will appreciate you. Not everyone will talk to you, and not everyone will respect you. That's fine. Toughen up, because you are about to enter a world that is not for the faint of heart.

 

I remembered a brother's birthday, my second time serving as a prospect. They noticed that I always bow my head when I move around serving brothers. A brother called me and asked me, why do I keep bowing? To which I explained that it was a show of respect to the ones who were talking around the area where I was walking around (a sign of a Filipino way of showing respect). However, despite the explanation I had, his face still showed something unusual, something confusing, as if what I said to him was inadequate. What he told me next made me empty my cup. It made me realize that these moments are the ones you truly have to remember and appreciate. A brother gave his time to explain why something should be unlearned. 


He told me that, despite trying to show respect, I may have disrespected the club. I am a BlackRider, a prospect, not someone's bitch. When those words came out, I felt confused. Dumfounded, to be precise. I felt as if I did something wrong that I might not have noticed, which was a turn off for the club I am trying to impress as a prospect. He continued and told me to learn the word "excuse" and walk like a man. Toughen up, because you are wearing those cuts as a representative of this club, not as someone who is working for a boss.


It took me days to digest that information. While I tried to follow what he said, I still found myself bowing in places where my mind was flying over the horizon. I heard a brother tell the others that it may be his body language, to give him time to adjust. which I appreciate the concern. I realized that club members know what they're saying and what they're teaching.

I indulged in the thought that the way I moved, bowing my head, disrespected the club's entirety. I told myself to be proud, chest out. I am wearing the club's name at the back. I should be able to carry them with honor and pride. Although I am a Filipino, not in all instances do I get to be a Filipino in the club. Even the use of "po" and "opo" as a sign of respect is forbidden. For we must recognize that we are brothers who live and defend traditions and codes that are not in any way Filipino. If you think that aspects of colonial thinking might have controlled you for years, try to point it out and unlearn it.


This also applies to every aspect of our lives. We must learn to undo the things we thought were right. We must learn to be proud of who we are and what we are. No matter what life throws at you, toughen up. Because the world is already full of snowflakes, why blend in when you can stand out? 


Again, don't treat yourself as someone else's b*tch. Enjoy prospecting.


-Hook, BRMC North Capital

 

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